My cousin

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I am 14 now but when I was younger I used to mess around naked some times. But when we where 11 I took her to the woods which where a couple hundred feet from my house but when I took my penis out she ran away I did not know why. But now she lives in Germany she is a milatary family. Now the vist us every Christmas and I can’t be close to her with out felling ashamed or embarist I regret every moment of it I can’t believe our parents haven’t found out