family

Connect the Dots

DownUp (-1 rating, 1 votes)
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For my twenty first birthday, my girlfriend, who is one year and three months older than me, and who I live with, decided to throw me a party. She had teased me a lot during the fifteen months that she had to buy me alcohol, which was usually wine coolers, but she would frequently buy herself some hard liquor for herself and tease me about being underage. I did get a lot of teasing from her and she also had me give her my paycheck and she managed our money.

Now it was my twenty first birthday and she had sent out a lot of invitations to our house, my family, her family, my friends, her friends, our mutual friends, our coworkers, some neighbors most of whom we barely knew, and as many others as she could think of. She had picked up a cake, but had not let me see it even though it was very large in the box. She then had everyone sit down in our house in various chairs and sofas in our living room. She then passed out papers that had full size picture of my face on them. These were very clear pictures and showed my face up close. It was a little embarrassing seeing my face up close like that, but what happened next brought my embarrassment to a whole new level. She told everybody, and there were about sixty or so people there, to count my freckles and then to do a connect the dots drawing with them and that whoever had the best design that used all of my freckles would get to draw that design on my face. I do have a lot of freckles, but I had never counted them myself. My girlfriend, and most of the people there, didn’t have hardly any, although some of my family did.

Most of the people giggled and then started counting and drawing. My girlfriend had plenty of pencils and markers for those who asked, she then told my family members that it was all in fun and to go ahead and join in, and pretty soon everyone was busy. My girlfriend would walk around and coach people to be creative, and especially egged on most of my friends and coworkers to do so.

After the counting, the number of freckles that I had was 137. My girlfriend then asked everyone to take pictures of their drawing with their phones before turning them in to her. She was the judge and picked out the one that she thought was the funniest, and then showed it real fast to everyone and asked who drew it and a guy stood up. I think it was one of her friends, but I didn’t get to see the picture. She then turned me around and gave the guy a purple marker and had him draw his drawing on my face. While he and I were engaged in this, she stood in front of everyone to show everyone all of the drawings and told people to take pictures of them with their phones.

Meanwhile the guy who was drawing on my face seemed to be gay and asked me to stop looking at his crotch. He did slap me whenever he said I was moving and making it hard for him to finish. It was hard not to look since he was standing right in front of me and kept moving my head as he was drawing on me. He was standing up in front of me while I was sitting in a chair and stood very close to me. Finally, he told me he was done and slapped me one more time. He told he had counted twenty one slaps for my birthday. I then smiled as now I knew what the slaps were for, but he grabbed my head and slammed it into his pants where is crotch was. Since my mouth was open from smiling, I actually felt the outline of his crotch in my mouth but he then told me to get up and show everyone my face.

Since I didn’t have a mirror, I didn’t know what he drew, but most of the people gasped at me, although there were a few smirks. It also seemed that my girlfriend didn’t show that picture when she was going through the pictures, but she told everyone to take a picture of me now, and pretty much everyone did. Afterwards, it was time for the cake.

She brought out the box with the cake and when she opened it, it was a sheet cake with another close up picture of me and on the top it said “Freckle Birthday” and on the bottom it said “Connect the Dots” The then had everyone sing “Freckle Birthday” instead of Happy birthday, and say Freckle Face instead of my name. She then had me blow out the candles and had everyone return to their seats while she cut the cake and had me deliver the cake to them. While they were eating, she and I returned to our seats at the front of the room and she had me unwrap the gifts. Interestingly, most of the gifts were connect the dot books, although there were a few other things. I think she had put connect the dot books as the gift everyone should bring on the invitations, but some brought something else anyway. She had me say thank you as I opened every gift to the giver. Finally the party was about to wrap up, but she did bring out a mirror so I could finally see what the gay guy had drawn on my face. To my chagrin, he had drawn five penises, two on each of my cheeks and one from my forehead along my nose. The heads of all of them were just outside my mouth, but actually it looked like the tips were in my mouth, like I was sucking five penises! This whole party was embarrassing, but this was extremely so. However, I didn’t want to cry on my birthday so I acted like it didn’t bother me. My girlfriend then said that the party had ended and everyone started to leave. She gave everyone another page with my face on it in case they wanted to do another connect the dots later as they were leaving. She said they could forward it to her when they finished and they could make copies for many connect the dot drawings. Everyone already had several pictures on their phones with my face and various drawings on it. Nobody was going to forget about all this for years to come. Finally, when it was just me and her she said that she appreciated that I was such a good sport and that she was going to give me some wild sex for that. She also said that the gay guy had been chosen beforehand and he had helped her come up with the idea and had already drawn my picture before the party and that we could thank him later. Actually I didn’t really want to do that. We then went into our bedroom and, after a little teasing about my freckles and the drawing, she really made me glad it was my birthday.

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Cockroach!

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A couple of years back when I was 14 we went for a vacation. One day while on vacation I was having a bath and suddenly saw a cockroach crawling on the floor. The sight of cockroach freaked me out and in panic I ran out naked in front of my whole family. No one said anything but when I explained the reason for running out naked they all had a good laugh at my expense but I was still scared and for the rest of vacation bathed with the bathroom door open.

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little brother bet

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Me(15) and my younger brother(13) has always have a strong rivalry but i allways win every thing. So dicied to have a race who ever could run around the block twice first wins and the loser had to do anything the winner told him today all weekend. i lost (over cofident). so a week goes by and my parents are going out of the town for the weekend for the aniversary and my brother ask if some of his friends could spend the weekend they said if it was ok with me, i of coarse said yes i didnt have much choice. so any way my brothers four friends come over and after a couple hours my brother says i have to walk around in underwear he found in my room. they are boxer briefs but were tight so you could see the outline of my dick they thought it was funny and he said we should order a pizza and i have to pay the way i was. so after awhile the pizza comes and i get a random boner so the tip of my dick is sticking out so the pizza dilvery guy saw it. my brother found paint in his room and they wanted to paint my bare skin i let them and they painted me every color of the rainbow and when i go to take a shower by brother said they get to watch so i am taking a shower in front of 13 year old boys and he said every time i got a boner i had to jack off with them watching so then they decide to watch porn on the computer so i get an instant erection and my brother sayed i had to jack him of what was kinda gross. so that was by far the most humaliting time of my life. he made sure none of them took pictures or anything so at lest he was still looking out for me ona grand scale

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Fell Asleep In Just a Towel

DownUp (+7 rating, 9 votes)
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When I was 15, i was at my annual family reunion. It’s at our beach house and all my grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc are there. must be at least 40 people. Everyone is usually there at one time for about three days. Towards the end of the second day, I was super tired. So I went back up to the house. The house is right on the beach so its maybe a ten second walk. Normal rule is to remove any wet clothing before entering. So I wrapped my waist in a towel and took off my swim trunks underneath. I hung them up outside and headed in.

My two aunts and mom were inside while everyone else was still at the beach. My aunts were on the couch watching tv. There was plenty of room on the couch and it looked really comfy so I sat down to rest for a second. I put my feet up on the coffee table in front of the couch but kept my knees bent. Unintentionally, I fell asleep.

I woke up probably two hours later in the same exact spot. It was sorta dark out so everyone was back inside and off the beach. I was slow to even move anything besides my eyes. One of my older cousins noticed I was awake and she announced the fact to everyone else. I looked around and saw most people grinning and giggling. Three of my aunts, my mom, and my sister walked up in front of me.

The five of them had huge, if not evil looking, grins. My aunt asked if I slept okay. Another asked if I was well rested now. I was pretty weirded out. I still hadn’t moved a muscle yet. My mom asked if I thought it was drafty in the house. I still hadn’t responded. My other aunt asked if I thought I had forgotten something. After every question it seemed as if the rest of the entire family laughed a bit more. I didn’t know if I was in trouble or something since everyone was completely silent.

Finally my sister stepped forward and said to me outloud, “Jim, can you do us a favor and look down?” Of course, I took her suggestion. I saw I was still in my towel. I guess it was a little goofy to fall asleep in a towel but I still was stumped. Now of all the people my little old grandmother spoke up, “Oh for Christ’s sake dear! We can all see your penis!” My eyes lit up. I realized I was more or less spread eagle and she was right. I had been showing myself off the entire time I had been asleep and during this awkward interrogation.

I hopped up and tried to make my way to my room to dress. Just as I was in the middle of the room, someone snagged an end of my towel and I walked right out of it. Took me a couple seconds to realize it since I was still out of it. I definitely realized it when my ten year old little cousin is taking a picture with my aunt’s cell phone. I covered up with my hands and hurried to my room after a roar of laughter. It was awful.

Several of them printed out pictures and put it around the house with titles like, “Sleepy beauty” or “The Nudist” or “Exhibitionist Jim” or “Free Willy” (the last one made me laugh too). I did get them down and got almost all of them deleted or taken from my relatives. I’m sure a few of them hid them. As long as it says in the family I guess I’m fine with it.

5

talking back

DownUp (-6 rating, 6 votes)
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once when i was little we were in target i was being disrespectful, my aunt said you better be good or i won’t buy you anything …. i said so you ain’t gotta buy me nothin’ i don’t want nothin’ anyway i turned around and ran into a shelf LOL

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How everyone I know saw me masturbating.

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I was home alone so I thought I’d get naked and masturbate. I was feeling a little daring, so I decided to show off on webcam.

Well, my little brother and his friends came home and I didn’t hear them come in. I think you can see where this is headed. 🙁

My brother came into my room without knocking to ask me something, and all his friends trailed in after him. To their total shock, I was completely naked, legs spread open and masturbating myself! I was right on the edge of my orgasm when the door opened and I couldn’t stop it!

My crotch was facing the doorway too, so they all got a perfect look! Several of them pulled out cellphones and took pictures and videos.. I was so insanely humiliated but couldn’t stop having an orgasm while they all laughed at me and took photo proof!

Then the worst thing.. They showed EVERYONE.

They posted it all over the internet, they posted it all over facebook and links to it on facebook and Twitter..

Every one of my friends, family, people I go to school with.. everyone!! I live in a REALLY small town, so literally everyone I know has seen me masturbate to orgasm and probably owns a copy of it on their computer!

9

The losers

DownUp (+7 rating, 9 votes)
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I was in the elevator, and I was with my brother and his friend. We were all fourteen. That night the guys had eaten Mexican, while I ate pasta. The guys has so much gas, I could barely breathe. Just then, a group of hot guys came in. The boys’ giggles stopped and they said, “Gross. I didn’t know a girl could fart so much.” The guys stared at me. Then, the boys commenced farting, and continues to step back every time. My brother even told the cutest guy, “Look out. You’re in the line of fire.”

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you’ve got some moisturizer on your neck

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Had a couple of the awkward sister/parent/etc walking in type moments but the funniest would have be a particularly messy, gluey and explosive load that was intended for the belly and ended up like a chin strap from ear to ear. We had a laugh, a lot of tissues and a long shower were used to clean it all up, and my then gf didn’t think anything more of it.
Until 2 hours into her shift at work which involved standing at a counter serving people at a busy shopping centre, when the girl working next to her said “oh, you’ve got some moisturizer on your neck”. There was still a streak of dried spunk stuck behind her ear from about 3 hours prior.

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