Your Embarrassing Moments

Boogie Nights

Last night I went to a benefit with multiple comedians (Night of Too Many Stars). Will Ferrell made a joke about “rubbing one out.” I had to explain to my mother what that meant. Later, Sarah Silverman made a joke about torture, and the need for “safe words.” I told my mother I’d explain it [...]

Continue reading...

Mom, what’s cunnilingus?

I was probably about 9 years old, watching TV with my parents. There was a comedy show on, and they were talking about cunnilingus. “Mom, what’s cunnilingus’” Pause. “It’s a terrible, terrible disease” I couldn’t work out why they started laughing after that, but thank God no one actually uses that word, and I finally worked it out years [...]

Continue reading...

the father walking around naked reminded of of this lovely situation

That post about the father walking around naked reminded of of this lovely situation. So I was in a play, and part of my costume included very tight pants. Tight enough that one could get a sense of the approximate shape of parts of my anatomy. I come home after the show, my mom leaves the room. [...]

Continue reading...

why he wants to order two vibrating dildos and a penis enlarger pump

When I was 13, I decided that I would order some sex toys from the mail order catalogue in the back of a porno magazine. So I filled in all the forms, withdrew some cash from the bank, and put it in an envelope. I must have accidentally left it somewhere around the house because my parents [...]

Continue reading...

a boyfriend, that’s OK as well

My mother busted out a good one about a year back when I was still living at home. During a very ordinary Sunday dinner, she starts making small-talk with me, then segues it into a question of “So, have you met any nice girls lately’” I told her no, and she follows up with a [...]

Continue reading...

Two awkward conversations with my dad

Two awkward conversations with my dad: *Dad walks into room* Me: Hey. Him: You SUCK at being discreet! Me: What’ *SMACK* Me: Ow! *Dad leaves* Some x months later… Dad: Hey, when you swap cars with your mother for the day and take it to go have a BBQ with your girlfriend, and stop at publix and get [...]

Continue reading...