the first time I ever ejaculated
At the age of about 12, I had my first truly embarrassing semi-sexual experience. It was also the first time I ever ejaculated; I guess I was cursed from that day. My parents were out of the house at the time at dinner or something and I was all alone. I knew that my dad hid his porno-tapes under his dresser so as soon as that door clicked shut I ran for their bedroom. Figuring that I was doing something right as I could never make anything come out, I was determined to rectify the situation that night.
So there I stood in front of my parents huge wood-console TV masturbating to early 80’s porn, when something weird started to happen, something I had never experienced before. My leg started to shake, my eyes rolled into the back of my head, and I unleashed the fury of my first ejaculation. Unfortunately it made me quite light-headed, and I lunged forward at the solid oak TV cabinet, and knocked myself the fuck out.
So when my parents came home, they found their 12 year-old son lying unconscious, pants around his ankles, in front of a TV blaring with porn and covered in man chowder. My parents never brought it up again, thank god.
