I need to pee badly
My best one was one New Year’s Eve being very stoned and drunk went back to my girlfriend’s house for first time sex. She lived with her mother that was like 60 something, we were both 18 I think at the time. We’re getting down to it and I realize I need to pee badly; problem is I’ve got the kind of erection you could use to hang drywall. I explain my dilemma to her and excuse myself to go drain the lizard. Well of course I can’t get the fucking boner to go away for what seems like hours (stoned remember) but eventually break the fucker enough to take a long piss, ahhhhh.
After I have secured the tackle I leave the bathroom to head back to have sex with the 3rd girl ever when I realize all the lights are out and I don’t have a fucking clue where I am plus I’m still really fucking drunk and stoned. Oh wait what is this’ I see a crack of light on the wall up ahead, must be her bedroom right’ Wrong. As I lurch for the light, arm outstretched to find the door handle I fall down a flight of stairs and end up upside down in a now destroyed laundry basket.
“Catherine! What was that noise”” “It’s all right mother, I just dropped something” “Are you ok’” “Yes, you go back to sleep”
She opens the bedroom door and I untangle myself, head up to her with, miraculously, my boner still intact ready for hot sex.
“My mom is awake now, you’ll have to go!”
Have a fun!