her jaw right into my hard penis

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Two weeks after I moved into a new apartment with my friend, my girlfriend finally decides that our place is clutter free enough to stay over for the night. Which was much needed because with her living with her bionic hearing parents, there’s not much we can do in her place.
So after I finish cooking a nice dinner we settle down to the couch for a movie before we hit the sack. We pop in one of our favorite movies, “Real Genius”(she has a wicked sense of humor, I love her to death). About halfway through the movie she starts getting a little frisky after having her hand down my pants half the movie. So she starts to satisfy me orally.
5 minutes into the pleasure, I hear the doorknob turn, so I whip a blanket over my girlfriends head, and my roommate comes bouncing through the front door. He just got out of his night classes and tosses his book bag towards the couch, which usually has pillows or blankets on it anyway, which hits my girlfriend right in the kidney forcing her jaw right into my hard penis.
In the process of screaming in pain she knick the underside of my penis with her incisor. I jump up in pain, with my pants round my legs and land wrong, to the point where I cant balance. I tip back and hit the small of my back on the arm of the couch. So there I’m laying on the ground, bleeding from my penis, trying to catch my breath because I got the wind knocked outta me.
It took my friend 2 hours to get the bloodstains from the carpet, it took one week for the cut on my penis to heal, it took 3 weeks to get my girlfriend to come back to our apartment.

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Having a crying person suck you off

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I was wakened one morning (I think Nixon was President) by a very pleasant feeling. Now, pleasant or not, this was an unfamiliar sensation and I bolted upright like a damn ninja.
My then-girlfriend took her head from my lap just long enough to give me a grin and a “shh” before she resumed her womanly duties. I reclined with a sigh, and played with her hair while she attempted to rip the skin off of my member through sheer suction. She was like the inverse of a hurricane, that one.
She was laying perpendicular to me and should any devil — or angel, for that matter — have been watching us from atop its perch on the ceiling, we must have formed a very crude ‘T’. This wasn’t her favorite position in the whole world, so she released me from her formidable jaws of molybdenum and asked if I wouldn’t mind shifting so that she could be between my legs.
She was terrible at giving head, I must admit. However, a terrible blowjob is still better than no blowjobs at all (barely). I started to shift my position, but she was shifting as well. There was trouble a-brewing. And I could do nothing to stop it.
The next couple seconds played out like some pre-ordained fate, as I calmly and slowly kneed my girlfriend in the face. Her lower jaw snapped upward, and the sudden gnashing of teeth made a very loud clicking sound. The tears started immediately, but she was a trooper. She shuffled over my legs and, to my amazement, starting sucking me off again before I could even move my lips to say “I’m sorry”.
Having a crying person suck you off is kind of weird, and not really a turn-on.

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how long it would take for me to cum

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I was nineteen and was taking a sabbatical from college *cough*. My on again off again girlfriend was a senior in high school. My parents were out of town and so I invited her over to have sex. It had been a while for me, and knowing her proclivities I was fairly certain she was seeing someone.
Anyway she comes over and we go up to my room to do the deed. I was curious as to how long it would take for me to cum so as soon as I entered her I watched the clock change turn 11:51 (yes I still remember the exact time). We start going to town. After a while I finally cum and look at the clock. Yup, it is still 11:51.

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a little light bondage

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I had a long-distance relationship with a guy who lived about a thousand miles away, so when we saw each other, we more than made up for lost time. One night we decided to experiment with a little light bondage, using a ribbon from a present I sent him to tie each other to the headboard of his bed.
About midway through one energetic session, he decides he needs to take a trip to the kitchen for some water and ice cubes, leaving me tied to the bed. Of course, he was considerate enough to throw a sheet over me, but that helped not at all when his flat mate arrived in the doorway to smirk at me and make fun of my bound condition. I was not happy. The arrival of the promised ice cubes was the only thing to allow the fun to continue. Of course, given that the same flat mate, who was engaged, later fucked a buttertroll my then-ex was seeing at the time, I should consider myself lucky that mocking me was all he decided to do.
The even more embarrassing epilogue to this story is that my boyfriend never untied the ribbon from the headboard. Two weeks later, his parents and sister came by while he was in class to replace the bed frame, without his knowledge. Between the ribbon and the fact that the headboard was broken, his parents figured out in a hurry just how much my evil self had corrupted their son. I made a point of avoiding them after that. The boyfriend still thinks it’s hilarious and I’m still mortified, three years later.

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I came on my own face

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I was on my back on her bed propped up. My girlfriend was going down on me. She stopped for a minute and started with her hands. It was an awkward angle. It was a lot of tension.
I came on my own face.

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my then girlfriend

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In high school my then girlfriend and I had to do a lot of sneaking around because her parents hated that she was dating a girl. Some nights I would go over to her place- she would sneak out and meet me on the road by her house and we’d have sex in my car. Every now and then my parents would go away for the weekend and I’d go get her after dark and bring her back to her house at around 4 or 5 in the morning.
One time after I brought her back I was so tired I forgot the speed trap. I got pulled over.
I rapidly realized that not only was I ridiculously tired and disheveled at 4 am, but my wallet was in my pants… on the floor of my bedroom. I was wearing boxers and a t-shirt, nothing else.
The cop walked up to me and said, “You were dropping someone off.” It wasn’t a question.
He ended up being a really nice guy and only wrote me up for not having my license. I’m so glad my parents didn’t notice what time was on the ticket.
Then another time when my brother’s girlfriend was over my mom asked me and my girlfriend to ‘not go upstairs so that we wouldn’t disturb [brother’s girlfriend] doing her homework. I hadn’t realized that probably the whole house would hear me and Jen going at it. We tried to be quieter after that.

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my mother-in-law

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Back when I was married, the wife and I found a rare moment when our toddler son was asleep one Saturday afternoon, so we took advantage of the situation and had sex. Our son was asleep on the couch in the den at the opposite end of the house from the bedroom. Afterwards, I went to check on him… while still naked.
Halfway there, I encountered my mother-in-law. Evidently, I hadn’t locked the door and the old bitch was arrogant enough to make herself at home and walk right on in without knocking. Needless to say, I covered myself, did an about face and ran away. To the m-I-l’s credit, she never mentioned it.

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NO DON’T OPEN THE DOOR

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My long term girlfriend and I (at the time) were engaging in one of our frequent bouts of naughty-play. We were buck-naked, lying on my bed, and my girlfriend was on top. My cat kept meowing since she wanted to come in, but I wouldn’t let her in for two reasons. For one, I don’t think I can comfortably have sex in front of my cat for some reason, and two, by the time my cat was meowing my girlfriend and I were already getting undressed. My mom knocks on the door (as she often does), and says, “Honey, Ginger wants to come into your room!”
“I know,” I told her. “Just keep her out, for now.”
“But she sounds so sad!” my mom kept pleading. For my cat. Which was…. weird, to say the least.
“I know, she was just in here. Just keep her outside. No, mom! NO DON’T OPEN THE DOOR-”
Then my mom saw my girlfriend and I, said some obscenity in Tagalong, and closed the door. After that, the most awkward 3 months of my life ensued.

1

Two awkward conversations with my dad

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Two awkward conversations with my dad:
*Dad walks into room* Me: Hey. Him: You SUCK at being discreet! Me: What’ *SMACK* Me: Ow! *Dad leaves*
Some x months later…
Dad: Hey, when you swap cars with your mother for the day and take it to go have a BBQ with your girlfriend, and stop at publix and get condoms while you get food, it’s probably a good idea not to leave the receipt in the car. Me (Oh fuck oh fuck I swear I threw that thing away): Oh… yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Dad: It’s okay, I told your mother that you were just using them to protect the hot dogs. Me: Alright, thanks. Dad: No problem.

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My entire shirt was covered in streaks of blood

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Prom Night, 1994. My girlfriend and I returned from the Prom around 1am and stealthily snuck though my house into my room without waking my grandparents (I lived with them at the time). After about two hours of removing all that formal-wear (in the dark, no less), some fairly decent sex happened… and we fell asleep in each other’s arms.
Cut to about 5am. I needed to use the restroom. I crawled out of bed and clumsily pulled my shirt on (white NIN t-shirt) in the dark and made my way to the bathroom. I flicked on the light and closed my eyes instinctively… waiting for my pupils to adjust to the light.
As they did I looked into the mirror and promptly fainted dead on the floor.
I came to just moments later I imagined, as my leg hurt like hell. What had shocked me so’ My entire shirt was covered in streaks of blood. Honestly, I thought I was dying. I had to be. I had to have some horrible gaping chest wound and was moments from bleeding out. There was no other possible explanation… I would be dead in seconds. It was that much blood. With my leg aching, and scrambled out of the shirt and searched for the source of the blood… but I was fine.
Limping back to the bedroom, turning on the lights revealed the story. Apparently the t-shirt had found its way underneath us during the prelude to sex… and apparently her period had started a little earlier than usual.
It cost a damn nice NIN t-shirt, a 200$ bed-spread, and her dignity for the next few days…
But the Prom was nice.

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