I pooped on myself
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Loading ...I had to use the bathroom in class but the teacher didn't let me so I pooped on myself in class then a student told the teacher they see brown stuff on my pants so she told me to go to the office to call my parents to take me home.
12. May 2013
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I pushed the gas
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...One time I was with my best guy friend at his birthday & we were on go-karts. We got in, and RIGHT as the person was explaining the rules, I pushed the gas pedal & propelled him forward, giving him whip-lash & EVERYONE was laughing for like 20 minutes. He still teases me about that, lol.
11. May 2013
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When I was in 7th grade
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...When I was in 7th grade, I got pushed down a staircase and landed face-first in a tray full of nasty-@ss school cafeteria spaghetti. Everyone was literally rolling on the floor laughing and I had to go to the nurse because I got a sprained ankle, but they still laughed and threw things at me.
10. May 2013
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I started crying
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Mine happened 4 months ago during class, I was really going through a terrible time. I was sad and depressed because I had a lot of work to do so I started crying. I don't why. Everyone in class looked at me and started laughing. I was so embarrassed and got all red. Lol (Thank God I Graduated from high school)
9. May 2013
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My mom after I met my new girlfriend
(-1 rating, 1 votes) Loading ...Dolores had come to my house and met me and my mom. Due to an unfortunate accident in the bathroom, I had been naked most of the time Dolores was at my house, and I'll tell you about THAT later, but after Dolores left, my mom heard the door close and called me to her room. It was already getting late and I was getting tired and I had started to have an erection from being with Delores, but it was only at the starting level and would likely go down in a few minutes without any further arousal. Unfortunately, since I had cummed in the shower, it had taken this long for my next arousal attempt to arrive. Of course nothing this evening had gone right and I was hoping to just go to bed and call it a night after I found out what my mom wanted. When I went in her room I saw that she was naked. It was a little gross to me to see her naked, but she called me over and told me to lie down next to her on the bed. She was on the right side lying on her left side facing me and I was on the left side facing up. She then asked how it went with Dolores and I told her that Delores wanted me to respect you more and for you to discipline me more. My mom said, “I was thinking of that myself and I do think she’d be a good woman for you.” I told my mom, “You’re right, now may I go to bed now. I’m tired.” My mom said, “First, I want to let you know that starting now, you’re going to sleep here with me as you are now. I may or may not sleep as I am now, but tonight I am going to. Is that understood?” I looked at her and said, “Yes,” she then said, “Say yes, ma’am as Delores told you to.” “Yes, ma’am,” I said. “That’s better, but I see we have a long way to go.” She then said, “Now relax, and tell me what you like about Dolores.” My mom then began stroking my chest with her right hand and said, “Go on, don’t be shy. Tell me what you like about her.” I began, and said,” Well, she does have a beautiful face.” My mom said, “Yes, she does, and you kissed her, right.” “Yes,” I said. “And how did it feel?” I blushed, and my mom again said, “Don’t be shy, tell me how it felt,” as my mom continued stroking my chest. I continued, “Well, I did enjoy it, but I was embarrassed about not being aroused.” My mom then said, “Why do you think you didn’t get aroused?” “Well, I think I drank too much at the party and that’s why.” My mom then said, “Well you didn’t get aroused the whole time she was here today? Why was that?” Interestingly, I was now getting slightly aroused, but to deflect her conversation away from my shower episode I said that it was because I was embarrassed about being naked in front of everyone. My mom said,” I think there’s more to it than that, but now tell me what you think of her breasts.” I started blushing and said, “I really like her breasts.” My mom said, “Well, you answered that pretty quickly. Tell me why do you like them?” As this, my mom stopped stroking my chest and began stroking my inner thigh and we both noticed that I was getting aroused, but she was being careful to avoid touching my penis. She then said, “Go on tell me.”” Well, I like that they are so tan.” My mom said, “Have you seen her breasts?” “No,” I said. My mom continued stroking my inner thigh and my penis was now pointing straight up, fully erect and she continued, “Anything else?” “Well, I do like that they are so big. I then told her, she’s the first girl I’ve noticed who has bigger breasts than you.” My mom then stopped stroking me and smiled and said, “Well, that is true, but you are admitting that you’ve looked at my breasts before then, right?” I was embarrassed by this, but she continued in a teasing way, “Come on now, you can tell me? I won’t get mad.” I hesitated, and gulped, and said,” Yes, I have noticed that you have big breasts.” My mom smiled and said, “I’m flattered, but yes, I have seen you glancing at me from time to time.” She then turned me on my side so I was facing her, and of course, now I was fully erect facing her, and she said, “Tell me what you like about my breasts. Come on don’t be shy or I’ll tell Dolores that you were being disobedient.” I continued, “Well, I like that yours are so big also, even if they’re not as big as hers. I do like that you have such a large circle around your nipple and I like that your nipple itself is so long. It sticks out so much.” My mom then said, “Would you like to feel my breasts. Again, don’t be shy.” I hesitated and she grabbed my left hand and placed it on her right breast and said, “Go ahead, tell me how it feels.” I said, “Well, it does feel very soft.” She laughed, and said, “Is that all you have to say?” Okay, then I’ll ask you this, “I want you to know how it feels to suck a woman with big breasts so you’ll be ready for her. Do you want to do that?” I hesitatingly said “Well…” She then said, “Well, I see that with you, a woman has to be aggressive. Okay, we’ll do it that way. Since you aren’t resisting, I’ll assume your compliance.” She then pulled my head between her breasts and squeezed my head between them and said, “Well, this is how it feels for you to be between my breasts.” She then pulled my head away and said, “Now on the other hand, I do think we should go to sleep now, and don’t let me catch you masturbating,” she said as she looked down at my still erect penis and then rolled over away from me. I asked her, “Are you mad at me?” She then turned back around and said, “What do you think?” I said, “What did I do?” “Nothing, and that’s the problem.” “What do you mean?” “You figure it out.” I then rolled her on her back and climbed on top of her. She then screamed, “What are you doing?” I then said, “I thought this was what you wanted.” She said, “I don’t want to be raped! When dealing with a woman, you have to arouse her.” I then got off her and said, “Okay, how do you like to be aroused?” She said, “Well, I don’t want to have to spell it out for you, but try and do what you think will do it and if there’s anything you do that I don’t like, I’ll let you know.” I then began to kiss her on the face and she kissed me back. She then grabbed the back of my head and pulled me close to kiss her deeply. She then said, “I know that you are aroused and if you don’t release it, it will hurt for a while, but I also don’t want you to masturbate, so what do you want to do?” “Well, help me then.” “Okay, but I need you to arouse me so give it your best shot.” My mom then said, “Well, on second thought, let me guide you.” She then turned on her tummy and said, “I want you to kiss and stroke my legs.” I began doing so and my mom said,”Mmm, that feels good. Notice how firm and strong my legs are. Dolores’ legs might be nice, but I know mine are firmer. How do my legs feel?” “They feel nice and smooth, and you’re right, they are firm.” They were also well shaved. She then said, “Okay, now go ahead and stroke my bottom and kiss my cheeks. Especially stroke my crack with your fingers and tell me how this feels.” It did feel weird to be kissing my mom down there and I said so, and she said, “Well, at least you’re being honest, but I like it and you’ll know that part of pleasing a woman is doing what she likes, Now, go ahead and continue. Cover my bottom with your kisses.” I did so and continued stroking her crack as she said and was beginning to enjoy this. After I had covered her entire bottom with my kisses, she said, “Now my back.” I kissed her back while she continued to moan which I hoped meant that she was enjoying it. After I kissed her back for a while, she then said she wanted to turn over. She then looked at me and said, “I’m glad you’re still erect. Now kiss the front of my legs.” I did and she said, “I know some guys like to kiss toes, but I don’t think you’re one of them, so keep working on my legs, especially my thighs.” I continued kissing and she moaned as I did so. Her thighs were especially smooth and I told her and she said thanks for the compliment. She then told me that she wanted me to skip up to her breasts. I gave her vagina a quick look while I moved up to them. She then told me to go back and forth between them and suck on her nipples. The tips were especially long and I did this enjoyable. She then told me to get off of her and to go to her drawer and grab two condoms and put them both on for double protection. I did and then she told me to lie on my back. She then told me that there were two reasons why she had to be on top. The first was that since she had such big breasts, I would enjoy them more this way, the second she said, was frankly I was kind of small down there and if I was on top that I might come out when thrusting. I blushed at that, but she said not to worry about it. She then proceeded to mount me, sliding down my shaft until I was completely inside her. She then told me to kiss her face as I kissed Dolores’. I began kissing her as she thrust. She then told me to thrust myself and to grab her around the back and pull her close while kissing and thrusting. She then told me to also kiss her breasts and face and I did do. Finally she told me that she wanted to hear me scream, “Oh mom” as I thrust. I said it but she told me to say it louder. I then screamed, “Oh, Mom, Oh, Mom.” She said, “Louder,” I shouted, “OH MOM, OH MOM,” as I continued thrusting. We could both feel that I was throbbing and I was going to come, she told me to scream at the top of my lungs. “OH MOM!!” I shouted, “OH MOM!!” I continued to thrust and throb until I came as I was screaming. She then clenched her vagina around my penis when I did. Afterwards, we could both feel me shrink back down while she was holding me inside her. She told me, “This is why you need the woman to be on top, because you’re so small and you might come out if you were on top.” She then released her vagina and I did fall out of her. She then told me, “Go take off your condoms and wipe your little penis and then come back to bed.” I was embarrassed by this, but went ahead and did it. When I came back, she said, “Okay, let’s go to sleep now.” This was hard to do because of all of the excitement of the day, which had taken a turn for the worst when I ran out of toilet paper. When I woke up the next morning, I saw my mom was lying on her side facing me. She then told me, “I see that you have a morning woody.” I looked down and blushed because it was true. She then said, “Well, I’m ready this time and I don’t want this to go to waste. Go put another two condoms on and come back.” I did and came back and lie down and she climbed on top of me and inserted my penis inside her and said, “This time I’m going to bury your head between my breasts, but I still want you to holler as you thrust even though it will be muffled, but I also want you to thrust very slowly because I want this to last a while, but again make sure that you yell loud, like you did when you ended last night.” I noticed how milky white her breasts were compared to the rest of her tan body as she pushed them over my face. She then said, “Okay, start yelling.” I began, “OH MOM!!” as I thrusted slowly as she had said, “OH MOM!!” She said, “Louder.” However since I was thrusting slower, it was making my shouting come out slower also, but I shouted, “OH MOM!!” Of course it did sound different from the night before since I was saying slower and it was muffled by her large breasts. She would occasionally thrust herself, but it seemed that she wanted me to do most of the work, and at a slow rate. It did seem that this time it was taking longer than the night before. When I finally did begin throbbing as I was going to come, she pulled her breasts away from my face but held them directly in front of me so that I could see them, She then told me to start screaming just as loud, “Oh Mom, I love your breasts.” I screamed, “OH MOM, I LOVE YOUR BREASTS!” “Again, keep doing it until you come.” I continued screaming, “OH MOM, I LOVE YOUR BREASTS! OH MOM, I LOVE YOUR BREASTS!” I kept screaming this until I came and then she put them back on my face and said, “Okay, since you said you love them, I want you to suck them and kiss them.” I did for a while as my penis came out of her and then after a while, she said, “Okay, remember, I still want you to be naked in the house, so go get us a quick breakfast while I get dressed. You don’t have to get anything fancy, and I’ll meet you in the dining room. Don’t forget to take off your two condoms and wipe yourself off and I’ll close the bedroom window.” I was embarrassed because our window was close to our neighbor’s house and they had two girls that lived there, sixteen and thirteen. She said, “Just kidding about the window, but you should see how you looked.” I got us some fruit and toast, and to drink I made us each a coffee. She came out in a casual outfit with shorts again and a short sleeve blouse and walking shoes. We then sat down and she said, “Good manners are that you should remain standing until a woman is completely seated and then you may sit. You are also to stand up whenever a woman comes to or leaves the table. So let’s do this again.” We both stood up, and then she sat down, and then I did. We finished fairly quickly, and she said that I deserved a glass of wine and she poured us both one to drink, she then told me to wash the dishes while she continued getting ready. While I was washing the dishes the doorbell rang. My mom yelled, “Go ahead and answer it.” I did and it was Dolores!
9. May 2013
105 views0 Comments
I was wearing a ripped shirt
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...My first awkward moment was when I was about 13. I was running late for school, and I just grabbed any sport shirts that I could find (yes I'm Australian and we have to wear uniforms D:) So I grabbed my brothers shirt accidentally, and it had a huge rip up the front of it. I was running late and I didn't take notice about my wardrobe malfunction, oogh... anyway. I walk through all of the school to my classroom, completely oblivious to the fact that I was wearing a ripped shirt. I unpack my things in math class, walking in, late, so EVERYBODY turned around (At this point I still didn't know that my shirt was ripped). I sit down and unpack my things, and I'm filling out a worksheet when the girl sitting opposite me asks, "what happened to your shirt?" I blushed and ended up wearing my backpack bag on the front of me covering my stomach IT WAS VERY EMBARRASSING TO SAY THE LEAST!
8. May 2013
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I scraped my knee
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Another embarrassing moment would probably be when I moved to a new school... Everybody was sitting with their legs crossed on the cement pavement... each section would be a grade. I was in grade 9, and grade 8 were beside us. My legs were going numb, and when it was time for grade 9 to stand up, I tried to get up (with my leg being numb, ARGH D:) and I crashed into a whole group of year 8's. Yep. I scraped my knee and a lot of people saw it... it was very embarrassing.
7. May 2013
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I FARTED in class
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Well, I FARTED in class one day and I had to go poo but I couldn't so I pooped my pants and my pants fell down. And the fart absolutely STUNK and the whole class eventually noticed that I had pooped my pants. As revenge the next day, I pulled down all of their pants and farted again just for fun.
6. May 2013
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a drunk night
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...Heres the deal, I met up with an old buddy at the bar and he had a friend with him. The friend introduced him self to me and started buying me shots. We all head back to my friends house to finish watching the game and drink more. At this point im very intoxicated so i go up stairs to pass out on the couch blah blah. But the friend comes up and starts making out with me, some clothes come off and that's all I can remember. We didn't have sex but im so embarrassed that I acted like this, I hardly knew that guy. I feel horrible and like I disrespected my self.
5. May 2013
68 views0 Comments
my first international shipping
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...A couple of months ago I was actually sending my first international shipping at the post office, and I was using a prepaid credit-card. I have never used a card in my life and I'm so used to using cash I never took notice of which way the card swiped or anything.. So I went there, and picked up the most expensive package (not knowingly). The woman looked at me and said, "you're going to pay $80 for this if you use this bag." I was so nervous I didn't even take note of anything I picked up. Anyway I ended up having to pay $15 for a much cheaper bag. It was just really awkward, because I thought I had a pin-number, then I remembered I didn't, and it was just a blahhh.. XD
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Fresh Mortar, originally Fresh News.
13. May 2013
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